The Kunu Seller and Other Stories
The problem isn’t just the loss but the uncertainty of life, uncertainty of the future, of radical change. . It feels so lonely when you look back and there’s no one you could call family. It looks scary when all your major […]
The problem isn’t just the loss but the uncertainty of life, uncertainty of the future, of radical change.
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It feels so lonely when you look back and there’s no one you could call family. It looks scary when all your major life decisions are now taken alone. It feels so sad when you realise you might never go home again. Not anytime soon. When home has become a place forbidden because it has firmly locked away all the memories you hold dear. Because therein lies your two parents body buried side by side at the back of your bedroom window.
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Sometimes, it gets so lonely that I could hear the sound of my own heartbeat. Sometimes when I stroll alone, I feel the cascading boredom of my new reality. When the wind sweeps my dress or caress my face, I realise that its only the wind I have left. Just the wind, to remind me that I am alone.
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And now that little brother has passed his bar finals and would be sworn in as a Barrister and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of Nigeria, it gets more depressing. Because this was dad’s dream. And mom’s dream as well. This should have been their eureka moment. Their famzing period. He would have bought the wig and gown proudly. He paid little brother’s law school fees into my account long before the list came out. He asked me to keep it for him.
Everyone says it will get better. Yeah, I believe.
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I spent the last 48hours drinking smoothies and staring into space. I didn’t go to work today. I didn’t taste any of the drugs either. For the heart knows the truth of the ailment. It is mental stress/weariness/life exhaustion. It is depression. And it made me physically weak. It came with a wave of nausea too. Reason why I have been taking banana smoothies made with ginger, banana, yoghurt, groundnut and dates as a 3-square meal. The ginger has been helpful.
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Ten minutes after I dropped the last post, my friend called from California. She had read everything I wrote. She shared her experience. And while I put my freshly made smoothie in the fridge to get cold, we talked and I laughed. I felt better.
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My friend had called from Ilorin early the next morning asking if I would come to Ilorin. I wiped a tear. I sniffed. But she didn’t know. And I said I would think about it. She called everyday since then, checking up on me. She has called this night as well.
Friends have dropped long encouraging comments on the blog. For all these, I am grateful. I cannot thank you enough. Thanks for caring and staying true.
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I didn’t go to work today. I spent the whole morning sleeping and I didn’t feel guilty about it. I spent the rest of the day staring at the roof of my bedroom. Then, strolled in the evening to buy fresh yoghurt for smoothies.
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OBF2 called on Saturday too but I missed it twice and didn’t bother to call back. Because I remembered the message that the kunu seller gave him to pass to me. OK, here it goes…
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OBF2 buys kunu from a certain girl of about 16/17years every blessed day. She strolls into the office to sell zobo, kunu and probably fura to interested people. She has customers of which OBF2 is one of them.
But I rarely noticed her. OBF2 had wanted to buy me her kunu on more than one occasion but I graciously declined. He asked me to taste it. I did. But didn’t like it. I rarely saw this kunu girl except when I occasionally bumped into her within the premises.
Until OBF2 gave me this message from Kunu girl:
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“Tell your lady that I won’t snatch you from her. She refuses to greet me whenever both of you are together and even if I greet her, she doesn’t answer”.
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And I actually thought I would never come across the likes of “Iya onisu who wanted to marry my father” again. Now, its the kunu seller who wants to marry OBF2.
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I laughed when he told me. To imagine that a 17year old is beefing me because of a man more than twice her age. Its like a part of her brain is paining her.
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Even OBF2 attests to the fact that she never greeted me to his hearing before. I mean, they both speak in Hausa while I give them space. Now, she’s accusing me when I have never even noticed her in the corner of her world. Wonders!!!!
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OBF2 has a lot of people liking him. Scratch that. Not people. Women. So apart from the kunu seller, a certain somebody also accused me of taking him away from her. Wonders!!!! And I told her I was through with him. That I was only borrowing him. That she could have him.
When I did “gbonku gbonku” to OBF2 for 72hours after then, he still came looking for me.
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I don’t fight. I don’t look for trouble. I can’t even fight an uneducated 17year old kunu hustler. I don’t like men that every other woman likes either. And I am tired of the drama that OBF1 &2 brings to me on a daily basis.
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Everyone is obsessed with the idea of being close to CSO’s daughter. Yes, they swarm around me like bees because of the popularity of my dad. People yell my name on the bus, on the street and in unlikely places. They only have to say “omo CSO” and I would turn and give them attention. This is my new life. That’s why I have the forced companionship of the two OBFs. And some others….
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But OBF1 has lesser drama around him compared to 2. I guess I should stick to OBF1 this week. But really, I am tired of them.
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I would have loved to take the rest of the week off. I wish. So tomorrow, the cycle begins again. Maybe it will become the kunu chronicles from now.
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