Sho Mo Age Mi Ni? -My Encounter With A Security Man At Uber Office
Monday, I went to Aso Drive, at Uber Office to collect some certain documents for a friend. She needed me to do authentication for her at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
I got to Uber Office before 9am, met the security guys and one of them asked
“What’s the purpose of your visit? To drive taxi? For employment or other reasons?”
“Why would you think I came here to drive cab?”
“Other girls your age have been coming here”
“My age? Sho mo age mi ni?”
“Like how old are these girls for you to say they are my age?”
OK, is it for other reasons?
“OK, remain blessed”. He said and walked away. I felt more amused by his ‘remain blessed’.
I went to sit where he directed me.
The person I needed to see came about 30mins late and I got the docs. I strolled back to Aso Drive. That place is heavily guarded with soldiers. I didn’t know where to turn as I was almost going in the direction of the soldier directing traffic. He smiled at me in his dark goggles and asked me to cross to the other side. I knew that of course. I had looked for their trouble once at the front of Police Headquarters where they barricaded the road and I kept walking. Lets just say they invited me to their armoured tanker and asked me few questions before directing me to cross to the other side. That day, I honestly wanted to get arrested. I was even happy when they called me. So I said ‘finally’ and walked to meet them. I was disappointed when they let me go.
When I am not happy, I always look for trouble and I don’t normally care at that moment.
This soldier at Aso drive was obviously in a very good mood same as I was. Then, probably because of my backpack, he could think I was a student. He signalled at me to stand at a spot and he was even stopping cars for me. We were communicating with sign language till I told him I wanted to go forward abit.
I went forward and not quite 5mins later, looking at the cars passing by, I suddenly saw him….a friend from the past. He had seen me too and pressed the brake suddenly. The car stopped in the middle of the road. He kicked it back to life and moved to the side of the road. “Get in quickly, this is not a good place to park”, he said
I looked in the direction of soldier man. ” is it because of that one, don’t worry about him, he’s my friend”.
So, we gisted, relieving old memories. It was a short drive from Aso Junction to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. He dropped me off at a traffic stop.
I had to scan my bag before entering. I was properly directed to the authentication office.
The officers were the most amiable people I ever met in a government office. They took time to explain the procedures to each person. How to generate a code, paying at the bank etc
I went to a nearby cafe to pay into remita, then paid at the bank before coming back. Alas, I didn’t make extra photocopies. The woman I met sent me back for more copies. I was gettiing frustrated and tired but I ran there.
When I came back she was no longer on seat. I was told to go back again to print the letter of authorization that my friend sent to me. I siddon put.
“Oga, as you see me so, I don waka tire. See the letter on my phone.”
“So I should staple your phone to these forms?”
“Yes sir, please staple it kiakia”
“If I staple it, it becomes the property of the ministry”
“Oga, I said I don’t mind”
When they saw that I was not budging, they started laughing.
“OK, let me read it”
“Oga, if you come my office, wetin I go take your eye see ehn?”
“Wiarris your office”
………when I mentioned it, they said
“Haaaa, I don’t want to come to your office o”
They got all my documents and asked me to wait till 3pm for collection. I chose to return the next day. I had other errands to run.
So I went to HP. HP directed me to one of their service agents. The boy I met examined my laptop and said “you should change your windows to 10. I will give you windows 10 for 15k.”
If you see the way I shouted ehn. Windows 10..15k? Do I look like an illiterate? Am I that daft?
Omo yibo….pls assemble my lappie and give it back to me.
I collected it angrily and walked out.
Yesterday, Tuesday, I was back at the ministry. I got the docs and thanked the officers who were now throwing banters with me.
“Since this is foreign affairs, you people should know everything. Abeg where is Netherlands embassy?”, I asked
“Belgium embassy handles Netherlands issues. Go to Belgium embassy in Maitama. Na drop you go carry and its 400.” An officer told me
I stopped a cab.
“Do you know the place?”, he asked me
“No. But it’s in Maitama”
“OK, I will ask, let’s go.” 500
“What? Its 400”
“Please now, how can you even be pricing it. You look nashural, I even want to carry you”.
Because I was in a good mood, I agreed to pay the 500.
We got to Maitama and got lost. His nashural likeness faded away and he began to grumble about wasting fuel. We later got to Belgium embassy after many misdirections. I was frisked at the entrance. I got in after a while and was asked to go to European Union to ask about legalization for Netherlands. I weak. My head was spinning.
I stopped another cab and hopefully he knew the place. We haggled over price and I hopped in. He drove like a maniac, little wonder he reminded me to use the belt immediately I hopped in. It was one hell of a ride.
At the EU, I didn’t spend up to 10minutes before getting clarity and thank God, I didn’t have to go back to Belgium.
Afterwards, I didn’t know how to find my way home. Some police men directed me to walk down a bridge. The road was too deserted. I sat by the roadside to eat two cobs of freshly roasted corn without drinking water (lol) then I stopped another cab. It was while on the way that the road began to make sense small small. When I passed by Iya Oyo’s bukateria and later berger, I knew I was on my way home.
I got home and out of the blues, MyNoble.Lord’s call.came.In
Why would he call me? I wondered. So I picked
Hello sir? Good afternoon
“How are you Yetunde? Are you at the office?
” No My Lord”
“I need some case files. Who is there?”
I called my colleague for him and reported back.
Anyways, MiLord doesn’t know I’m on leave yet and courts in Nigeria resume on Monday. #sighs#
I have sent the documents back to my friend in London through DHL. It was a great two days adventure.