OF CHEATING SPOUSES, SPOUSAL ABUSE AND SUNDRY ISSUES By Olorogun Timinipre

Recently, I have been overwhelmed by post of women entrapped by their cheating spouses. I log on to Facebook each day and I see a new post about a cheating spouse. To make it worse, I get to see comments from fellow women encouraging evil, yes encouraging EVIL!
How can you say a woman should fold her arms and pray in silence for a cheating spouse? Is marriage the ticket to heaven? Some are crucified for venturing to check their husband’s phones, hian! How is that a crime abeg? So he can peruse and browse all through the nook and cranny of your body but his phone is a sacred temple abi?
Another group shouts all over the place- pray o pray, am I saying prayer is bad? Far be it from me. But telling a woman to shut up and not confront her cheating spouse but pray sends the wrong message, is her husband her Lord and personal saviour? Is he the owner of her life? I guess I missed the memo where it was spelt out that once a woman says “I do”, her brain stops functioning, she loses her identity as a human being hence must swallow every rubbish her husband throws at her, but must be bestowed with the highly esteemed title of “prayer warrior” kai!
Why are we women like this? We see ourselves as rags to be trampled on and we teach others to accept same fate. It is evil to fall into a pit and drag others along with you. It is demonic to advice a woman to remain married to a cheating spouse and submit her all continually until she dies of some sexually transmitted disease or depression.
Our society has failed us and our Church has failed us, should we also fail ourselves as women?
Our mothers tell us “your husband is your king” you must obey him and do all to please him, whether he is the devil or a dog you must reverence him and serve him with all your heart, body and soul. You must endure and build your home, after all nobody is perfect your father wasn’t but I endured.
At the solemnization of holy matrimony the priest says “for better for worse”, which is no where in scripture! Funny though that when the relationship gets ugly and the woman makes bold to leave she is reminded of her vows of “for better for worse”! and God hates divorce, no one tells a man whose wife cheated “for better for worse” no one tells the man to treat his wife properly so divorce would never be mentioned.
I say it again, our society and the church has failed us but please women! Mothers! Sisters! Aunties! Don’t fail each other, stand and defend womanhood.
Teach your sons to be husbands indeed! If he doesn’t know what it means he should learn from agricultural science what animal husbandry entails. It has to do with nurturing and preservation, it involves protection and provision. Don’t teach your daughters to be slaves to men, give them a voice and they would grow up with a healthy self esteem, not settling for any Tom, Dick and Harry, teach her that she is a princess who is meant for a king.
Let us stop treating singles of marriage-able ages like lepers so they can have a clear head in making the choice of a life partner.
Let us bring forth better fruits for the next generation, say no to female slavery! Fight for your sisters! Fight for your daughters!
Dear single ladies, you still have a chance to choose wisely, don’t add to the statistics of enduring marriages, choose to enjoy your marriage. Don’t settle, seek God’s best! Courtship is not a time to busy yourself planning for a wedding, it’s a time to study your partner. It’s not a time to put your best foot out and tolerate your partner’s excesses. Look before you leap! Study him, don’t just judge by what he says, watch his body language, how does he treat other people, are you the only perfect one?
Watch and pray! It’s in courtship you sow the seed of prayers, commit him and your relationship to God. Ask God for peace, ask God to show you who he really is, don’t be in a hurry to say “I do”. Remember a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. If per-chance you notice an attitude or a flaw which you can’t tolerate please call it quit. You won’t die! God is not done with you yet. Keep trusting him for his best.
Dear single babes let’s change the status quo, let’s tell the world that marriage is truly enjoyable.

#I love you all dearly#
Olorogun Timinipre
February, 2015

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