NO LONGER A MAN’S WORLD
The home front is on fire. The marriage institution is threatened. The thing or place called the man’s world is collapsing. Just take a good honest- to-God look at your surrounding and see if you can swear that it is well with the marriage thing. Yeah, it is well, bless you brother. But seriously? I ain’t so sure. So, what, who is responsible for the climate change in this sector of our private lives.
It is the women’s fault. Today’s woman has not only left the kitchen, she has outsourced it. And i don’t mean cooking and so on. She no longer thinks that marriage completes her or that the heavens will cave in if she does not walk down the aisle at some point in her life. She is armed with a degree, a good job and a comforting bank balance. So who needs a knight in shining armour? This girl can defend herself.
Now, if by a stroke of luck she gets married like the society expects, today’s woman does not have the staying power of her mother or the perseverance of her grandmother. She wants to be loved and pampered. She wants a man she will look up to, who will support her career and give her room to blossom. She needs her space. Don’t ask me what she needs that space for. Half the time, i don’t know if am today’s woman or yesterday’s woman. It is like there are only today’s women, not today’s men. Do they still make men who can manage today’s woman?
This girl am talking about is not a saint, her modern ways can be exasperating. She has her head in the cloud. She wants her marriage to work but just need a man who wants to work at it. Unfortunately, most men still think that a woman should make more effort. He expects to be forgiven every time he strays and is caught with his pants round his ankles. He expects his wife to understand why his three nephews and two brothers have to live with him till they graduate and get a job. He wants her to cook all his meals and if she cant, she’s a failed wife.
Today’s woman isn’t just cut out for all that. Yes, she has an in-built mechanism to multi-task but some tasks are not just on her to-do list. She doesn’t mind cooking for her husband but she draws a line at running a hostel. She loves her in-laws; she just does not want to live with them. She is not just like her mum but unfortunately, her man is still like his old man. He wants his dinner hoot and ready when he gets out of the shower after a hard day’s work. For missus, who also had to wade through the same number of kilometres to get home, cooking every night is not just on.
She works hard, long hours, sometimes 16hours seven times a week and so naturally wants to spoil herself a bit. Of course she can afford to. A bigger car and a vacation abroad. But a man is a man. He doesn’t want his wife to take him on vacation. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way round? She can’t cook because she comes home tired every night. She is a civil engineer and project manager of a construction company. Doesn’t that mean a lot of travelling? She is a marketing manager. Doesn’t that mean a lot of official dinners that could drag till 10pm?
It is shocking to hear young women saying that if not for what the society would say if they have children out of wedlock, she would not get married. What’s worse, there are now sperm banks. You don’t even need a man to get pregnant. Poor guys, the world has gone digital and a woman can outsource the entire male department of her life.
If your son is in Harvard and his fiancée in Oxford, shouldn’t you be telling him that washing machine, dishwashers and microwaves are a must in their home? If your son is a petrochemical engineer dating a doctor, shouldn’t you be telling him his wife won’t cook three meals daily and that noodles isn’t for children alone?
Gone are the days when women queue at the door of eligible men. Today, tthe table has been turned. The single girls know that it is a battle they may not win, so they have devised all kinds of ways to have fun while they wait for the scale to tilt in their favour. And because many of these single girls have great jobs, they do not spend hour and hour wringing their hands waiting for their slot on the roaster of Mr Big Deal who treats them like trash. Where that leaves the men is spending their time, money and energy on their mistresses, baby mama, girlfriend etc
We should all be worried, teach our daughters not to have their eyes on the exit as soon as they marry and our sons not to be so keen on throwing their wives out. Most wives today have houses or enough savings to rent one if the man throws them out. It’s a strange new world.
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.