Night Blues

This past week was very tough for me.
I didn’t go to work much, I was sick. Very down with malaria.
And I was thinking too much too. About my parents.
That was how I started losing it. I was losing my mind gradually. It got to a point, I had to start begging God not to allow me run mad completely 😃
I mean, I could not focus. I was weak. My brain was on fire. My head was paining me. I couldn’t sleep at night.
I was weeping all through the night. I felt so alone. I felt abandoned by God. I lost interest in life, in activities. It was the toughest week of my life.
I never knew that it was work that was keeping me sane, that was driving me, that was helping me to subdue the grief. I never knew that the grief never left. It has just been hiding. And it expresses itself best when I’m left on my own. It expresses itself in few minutes of heart wrenching sobs in the dark of the night. It happens in the courtroom too sometimes when something triggers it, then I begin to take five minutes break to weep in the bathroom, wash my face, take a selfie perhaps and come out.
I loved that man so much that I didn’t realise it. He was my safe place. He was next to God in my life. How we drew closer after mom died. How I would tell him about what ogbeni ota said to me and he would explain the statement to me and say “these are the reasons he said that but don’t worry, you will be fine”. These days, nobody tells me I will be fine. Which makes me scared alot of the time. There’s no assurance that I’m going to be fine.
It’s very hard. It’s a very tough one. I don’t wish it on anyone. I want my daddy!!

Author

nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com
She has won many awards in writing and poetry amongst which are CLO essay competition (1st Prize Southwest) NDIC essay competition(5th Prize in the southwest) and a World Bank Essay Certificate of Participation She has worked with woman.ng as a content editor and a host of sites as a ghost writer. She has written great inspirational content for fashion brands/blogs. She has been featured on radio and recently added public speaking to her portfolio. You can hire her to write a professional/business profile for you, online content editing, book editing, guest blogging, ghostwriting, content creation or if you need copies of her book, contact her via nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com Facebook.com/Yetunde Olasiyan instagram.com/Yetunde Olasiyan Follow her business page on Instagram @officialladywriter

Comments

September 9, 2019 at 6:19 am

Warm Big Hugs from me to you, Babes…and I never knew whilst dumping on you but I guess you had some moments of smiles during the chat. God’s got you, ALL the time and you know it



Hello!!! Kindly drop a comment....