How my weekend went
I stayed late in town on Friday. Got home at almost 8pm. I couldn’t eat the jollof I brought home. It was tasteless. I slept off on the couch.
My neighbor(the one living with her second husband😀) was praying so loud. She prays twice in a year or so. It was so loud that it interrupted my beautiful sleep. After working so hard from Monday to Friday, I still can’t sleep in on Saturday morning. Toh. Ok.
So I said let us all be mad together😂 and I put “Fi Mi Lokan Bale Oluwa” by Ebenezer Obey at the loudest pitch and placed it on my window. It drowned her loud wail in seconds. I stood up and began to dance to Oro Seniwo and Let Them Say(Ksa).
Two nights ago, at about 2am, I heard people fighting from my dreams. I struggled to come back to reality because the voices were strong. When I opened my eyes and ears, it was my neighbor and her Yahoo Yahoo 2nd husband.
Horzeband said “even if you are older than me in age, are you older than me in other things?”
It was as if they slapped me. So she’s even a sugar mummy. They began to curse each other and she was saying back to sender. He opened the door and drove out at 2am.
It’s a lot comforting that I do not have neighbors again. And I’m only waiting for Milord to go and sit outside jurisdiction so that I can have time to pack.
New landlord had called on Saturday night. Please, speak with the lawyer in charge of my property.
I heard him say “counsel, take the phone”.
So counsel came on
” Hello Madam”
“I heard you work at Kilimanjaro court”
“Yes, I do”
“I know your court very well. I’ve been to court 1&2 before. Which court are you? I fit know you sef”
“Okay, that’s very good. When can you come and sign the agreement?”
“I hope you have my fees already”
“Which fees??(with a raised voice). Did I transact any business with you? Have I met you before? Is it your father’s house? I don’t need any agreement, boo. I can get you ten agreements in 48hours. Infact, I have plenty lawyers begging to do agreement for me free of charge. I’m NEVER going to pay you for that. When you come to court, how much do you pay? Counsel, please, let us be guided, don’t let me transfer all the financial aggression in my body to you. I don’t have one naira to give you.”
I didn’t even realize I was already shouting at the hungry lawyer. I was about to mention thunder when he quietly left the phone for me. Don’t you know who I am? 😀😂😀
I don’t know why people judge me by my looks. They think I’m one mumu. Abuja is not the gelato capital of Nigeria, boo. I have tenants living in my house at ibadan too. I don’t bug them for agreement or anything. Some yeyenatu like you even took me to court. Well, that court case is still there. My mother’s son called me to speak with the lawyer because he couldn’t understand half of what the lawyer told him on phone.
I smiled. I spoke with the guy and we flowed. He was just talking about the motion he filed and the restraining order that’s pending before the court of appeal as well as the injunction at the supreme Court.
So I told him,
If you are to come to the supreme Court, I can’t be responsible for such costs. It’s better you allow them to strike out the matter and let’s proceed with out of court settlement. After all these discussions, I called my mother’s son and explained to him as best as I could in layman’s language but I’m not sure he still got everything.
I have matters in my surname at the supreme Court, high court and the court of appeal. If this had happened five years ago, I would have been peeing in my pants. Some people develop stroke and BP when they hear the word ‘court’. Reason why yorubas are fond of saying “aa ni rogun ejo”.
But, that’s why God sent me to a place like this. Lawyers don’t threaten me. They beg to have my number. They know their case can’t move without me. So imagine, a smelly yeye counsel asking me for agreement. Agreement ko, disagreement ni.
By the way, I mistakenly saw my kidbrother’s name in one of the processes filed in my court. It was the surname that attracted me because I’ve even forgotten that dude is a lawyer(a baby lawyer sha). I then saw his initials T.T.
I’m waiting for him to come and appear before me. He doesn’t know that I know.