Milord Knows I Write About Him

I started my annual leave on Monday but I still went to work that day and the next. But other than yesterday when I went to the national stadium, I’ve been totally indoor. I promised myself that I would not see the sun this entire week especially since Abuja sun is so crazy during harmattan.
Last week Thursday, when I went to tell(remind) Milord that i would be away, he looked at me and said
“Are you travelling?”
“No”.
“You just want to be sleeping at home?”
Lol
By this time I was grinning from ear to ear.
“Why will you go on leave when I’m still sitting? Who signed your leave form?”
He was standing when I told him but now, he had calmly gone to take a seat.
“The head of litigation signed for me sir”.
“Why should he sign for you? Why did you take it to him? Are you working under him?”
“I’m sorry milord.”
But the truth is, Milord has never signed my leave form since I started working with him and he has never made a fuss about who signed.
Ok I remember now.
The last time I went on leave, I didn’t tell him. I told W. W informed him after I left. Milord was on vacation when I left. Milord only mentioned when I came back that he heard I was on leave.
So, this was all new to me. I am aware that he signs for W and addresses it to the chief registrar to enable W proceed on leave. I thought that was too high for me.
So I begged
“I’m sorry Milord”
“It’s okay. But what will you be doing?”
In my mind, I was like “milord, all these delay tactics are not working. Kukuma tell me you are going to miss me”. I was just there smiling like mumu until he said
“Or you want to write another book? I’m sure that this time around you’d write about your experiences in court”
I nearly screamed. My eyes lit up. Flesh and blood couldn’t have revealed that to him. How did he know?
***Ok now, let’s take a commercial break because Jonathan Eze just sent me a huge text.
*****””
As I was saying,
I was so excited. I get excited when people that matter to me talk about the thing I love the most.
He continued
“Your first book I read the first chapter but i …..
Honestly I could have hugged Milord at this point but that would have been sacrilegious.
Milord read my book????
Now I have finally earned the “do you know who I am?” status😁. I now have bragging rights.
I said
“Milord, you read it????”
“Yes, but I stopped at the first chapter. I haven’t been able to finish it”
Oh so sweet of you my noble Lord. The fact that you even opened it has made my day. Of course I didn’t say this.
The Chief Registrar of the court had purchased about 150 copies which was distributed by the library to all judges of the court. Imagine my shock few days after I got transferred to my Lord’s Chambers and I saw my book staring back at me in his shelf. It was an eureka moment. Biko let me write another book and go back to the status of a celebrity.
I didn’t know when I blurted out
“Milord, I have a blog where I write about you”
“Ehn ehn?”
“Yes Milord”.
“All my friends read you. Some of them have been telling me they need to see that Milord. One would even call and say greet your Lord for me. Another friend of mine planned to visit our court so that she could see you(it was prisca’s diary I had in mind when I said this). Even my brother was shocked when I told him I now work with you.
He laughed heartily.
And in a way, I felt relieved that he now knows my shenanigans. I have a feeling that he’s going to stumble on my blog one day or maybe his kid/relative/a friend would bring it to his attention.
Then, we talked about a lot of things for the first time. About my dad. About how my dad approached him to write a letter of recommendation for my brother in Lagos when he got a job. Milord told me this. I never knew.
I equally told him how mom used to make jest of dad for calling the Court’s jugdes his Lord.
He laughed.
So I told him few of the things I’d be doing with myself. And that yes, I would be writing my second book like he said.
We talked about the economy. About his generation causing problems for my generation. How they told us we would be leaders of tomorrow and here we are, still not sure of tomorrow.
I said
“Milord, it is the people in your generation that are the problem of Nigeria.”
Dear readers, I beg of you, you see this relationship I have with my Lord? It’s one of a kind. If you ever work with a Nigerian judge or come across one, they are highly revered. Do not, I repeat, do not talk to them the way I talk to milord except that judge is your uncle or your father else,….ewon gbere niyen mehn😁
We gisted till staff bus left me. I had to trek home😁
Milord is a rare breed. One of a kind.
.
Last week, a very popular SAN in Nigeria was in court, a female and I had gone to ask her which one was her matter so that I could call it out of turn. They are so big on seniority at the bar and no matter which case is number one, I have to call her matter first as the most senior.
However, we had a motion exparte and I called it next. After I eventually called her case, she reported me to milord in open court that I knew she was in court and could have called her case since but Milord apologised on my behalf. You see why he’s the best?

.
Well, the first thing I did yesterday was to get myself a pack of sans cream soda.

I wanted to buy a bottle and I decided to ask if they have the pack. They did. So I got one. I bought dispenser water too. With some chocolate biscuit and I came back home, locked myself in and slipped under the duvet.
Now, I don’t know what to do with myself. I need to be out of Abuja but I don’t know where to go. I’m not resuming till January. What will I do with my life?
I paid for cow and rice sharing at the office. I got my rice last Friday. I’m waiting for my cow. We are slaughtering two cows😁. Aye mi o. The thought of it is making me to belch already. They’ve been sending me pictures of cows on the WhatsApp group.


Uncle’s wife is expecting me in Ibadan. She has even made arrangements for my mobilization. She has arranged with someone to pick me and bring me to her doorstep. Bhet, does it make sense to leave my cow meat and go to ibadan? Or should I go on a road trip to Ghana? I don’t want to spend the new year in Abuja ojare.

Author

nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com
She has won many awards in writing and poetry amongst which are CLO essay competition (1st Prize Southwest) NDIC essay competition(5th Prize in the southwest) and a World Bank Essay Certificate of Participation She has worked with woman.ng as a content editor and a host of sites as a ghost writer. She has written great inspirational content for fashion brands/blogs. She has been featured on radio and recently added public speaking to her portfolio. You can hire her to write a professional/business profile for you, online content editing, book editing, guest blogging, ghostwriting, content creation or if you need copies of her book, contact her via nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com Facebook.com/Yetunde Olasiyan instagram.com/Yetunde Olasiyan Follow her business page on Instagram @officialladywriter

Comments

Biodun
November 30, 2019 at 7:39 pm

Go to Ghana o, send me the Cow meat abeg



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