Midlife Crisis

Let me tell you about that time I was(or thought I was going through midlife crisis). Google became my friend, Google diagnosed me. I don’t know if I should use a he or she for Google. Google can’t be an ‘it’. He’s too intelligent to be a nonliving thing. Let us agree that Google is a living thing and a man.
When I started forgetting things, stuffs like looking for my phone when it was in my hands or walking into a room and forgetting what I came to pick, I turned to ask everybody’s best friend-google. When I developed a sudden craving for food-opening Facebook and coming in contact with certain food videos got me some mad cravings. I didn’t rest until I tried the foods. I started making and eating eggbuns. I thought of food everytime and everywhere. I became alarmed one day. This can’t be me. But before I knew it, I had gained a whopping 5kg extra after staying on 55kg most of my adult years. Then I ran into an Instagram post by Genevieve publisher, Mrs Betty Irabor and her story was exactly the story of my life.



Google told me I was going through midlife crisis. I was finding it difficult to sleep at night. I lost interest in everything.

The way I’ve been hustling to get epo pupa, elubo and iru wooro these days ehn. Seems everyone I know no longer travels by road. My friend, Boyede has already taken her leave but i cant ask her because she travelled with her kids. She’s somewhere in the south now.
I’ve been talking to people I shouldn’t even talk to…”abeg you dey travel? You fit epp me get red oyel from akure?”
I even met one lawyer in a cab at banex one day and I still continued to hustle for red oyel immediately I learnt he was traveling down south.
Pride would not let me beg my village people to send me oil. They will later use me to shine.


Today, I went to the office

but I’ve been so cranky since I came back. I entered a Mercedes Benz from the junction. When I asked for the next turn, and they pointed at the Benz, I was grinning. Who would think I’d enter a Benz after many years it went into extinction? The interior was very rough but surprisingly, it moved very fast on the highway.

Yesterday, I was on my own when I saw someone selling freshly harvested corn for #100, about six pieces. I rushed it.

Biko when will Abuja rain stop? I’m down with cold, broke like nothing and very angry when I saw people parking by the road side to buy ram. I mean where did they get the money? Aren’t we all supposed to be broke together in this economy?

Author

nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com
She has won many awards in writing and poetry amongst which are CLO essay competition (1st Prize Southwest) NDIC essay competition(5th Prize in the southwest) and a World Bank Essay Certificate of Participation She has worked with woman.ng as a content editor and a host of sites as a ghost writer. She has written great inspirational content for fashion brands/blogs. She has been featured on radio and recently added public speaking to her portfolio. You can hire her to write a professional/business profile for you, online content editing, book editing, guest blogging, ghostwriting, content creation or if you need copies of her book, contact her via nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com Facebook.com/Yetunde Olasiyan instagram.com/Yetunde Olasiyan Follow her business page on Instagram @officialladywriter

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