Midlife Crisis

Let me tell you about that time I was(or thought I was going through midlife crisis). Google became my friend, Google diagnosed me. I don’t know if I should use a he or she for Google. Google can’t be an ‘it’. He’s too intelligent to be a nonliving thing. Let us agree that Google is a living thing and a man.
When I started forgetting things, stuffs like looking for my phone when it was in my hands or walking into a room and forgetting what I came to pick, I turned to ask everybody’s best friend-google. When I developed a sudden craving for food-opening Facebook and coming in contact with certain food videos got me some mad cravings. I didn’t rest until I tried the foods. I started making and eating eggbuns. I thought of food everytime and everywhere. I became alarmed one day. This can’t be me. But before I knew it, I had gained a whopping 5kg extra after staying on 55kg most of my adult years. Then I ran into an Instagram post by Genevieve publisher, Mrs Betty Irabor and her story was exactly the story of my life.

Google told me I was going through midlife crisis. I was finding it difficult to sleep at night. I lost interest in everything.

The way I’ve been hustling to get epo pupa, elubo and iru wooro these days ehn. Seems everyone I know no longer travels by road. My friend, Boyede has already taken her leave but i cant ask her because she travelled with her kids. She’s somewhere in the south now.
I’ve been talking to people I shouldn’t even talk to…”abeg you dey travel? You fit epp me get red oyel from akure?”
I even met one lawyer in a cab at banex one day and I still continued to hustle for red oyel immediately I learnt he was traveling down south.
Pride would not let me beg my village people to send me oil. They will later use me to shine.

Today, I went to the office

but I’ve been so cranky since I came back. I entered a Mercedes Benz from the junction. When I asked for the next turn, and they pointed at the Benz, I was grinning. Who would think I’d enter a Benz after many years it went into extinction? The interior was very rough but surprisingly, it moved very fast on the highway.

Yesterday, I was on my own when I saw someone selling freshly harvested corn for #100, about six pieces. I rushed it.

Biko when will Abuja rain stop? I’m down with cold, broke like nothing and very angry when I saw people parking by the road side to buy ram. I mean where did they get the money? Aren’t we all supposed to be broke together in this economy?


She has won many awards in writing and poetry amongst which are CLO essay competition (1st Prize Southwest) NDIC essay competition(5th Prize in the southwest) and a World Bank Essay Certificate of Participation She has worked with woman.ng as a content editor and a host of sites as a ghost writer. She has written great inspirational content for fashion brands/blogs. She has been featured on radio and recently added public speaking to her portfolio. You can hire her to write a professional/business profile for you, online content editing, book editing, guest blogging, ghostwriting, content creation or if you need copies of her book, contact her via nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com Facebook.com/Yetunde Olasiyan instagram.com/Yetunde Olasiyan Follow her business page on Instagram @officialladywriter

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