It’s a month today since she went to be with the Lord. No, the pains haven’t been lesser and the void isn’t getting smaller. The world hasn’t stopped moving and life hasn’t stopped. Rather, everyone is trying to move on.
By now, even the goats must have come to terms with what it means to be mother less. I really don’t pity the poor dudes though. They were pampered and fed before anyone else in the house and I envied them. She saw to that. They should be up to twenty now. They live in majestic splendour in their cozy two bedroom apartment within my parent’s animal farm, demarcated by a plant farm.
Life hasn’t been the same. I have been looking at the clock at the particular time of the day she calls me, yet silence. My sister and brother each called me with her mobile line and I nearly passed out in fear.
2015 has been a very rewarding year yet it took something unforgettable. At first, I asked myself if Christmas was actually going to be merry for me. But in all, good things have happened immediately after Nov 28th but the dull ache in my heart negates the excitement that’s supposed to go with it.
2015 in Retrospect..
It has been a rewarding year. At first, it was full of uncertainties, of unfulfilled dreams, of hopelessness but it didn’t take long for all those things to change. January looked as if the year wasn’t going to be good. It was full of uncertainties. February came and proved me wrong. March brought an end to constant trips further north. April saw me in the ancient city(the last good time I had with her, the best memories). I still don’t know how I coped with May, trepidation filled my heart because of a project slated for June. But June came and I did what I had to do without hassle. My heart was filled with hunger in July, I needed a change. So I began to trust, to look up, to think, strategize, all through August.
Then, in September, it looked as if the wind of change finally came but it slipped away by October. November was the loss. Then came December, and the much needed change came. Gloryyyyy!!!
Some change actually love to wait till the last minute before showing up. It’s a good change.
There are only two types of people in the world; good and bad people. Some know the exact right words to say to you in times of crisis that would make your heart return to normalcy, that would restore calm to your troubled ocean. Maybe because they have walked in your shoes before, or just pretty sensitive enough to know when not to say certain things.
But some, who don’t know your reality are the first who would spit out whatever comes to their head without thinking it through. Giving you sound advice they think you need. Telling you what to do in the situation they know nothing about. Judging you by your mood and reactions.
All I would say is, may they never have to walk in those shoes, or feel such realities, because it isn’t palatable one bit. May they come to fully understand in other ways possible why you act or react the way you do.
Drawing the curtains……Merry Christmas and a Happy new year in advance. Thanks for staying with Yetunde Olasiyan’s Blog in 2015. Thanks for your encouragement and love all through the year. Looking forward to seeing you in 2016. It’s going to be more exciting.