During my years of being single, I came across a lot of men: the godly and the ungodly. Ungodly is when a man proposed marriage to you and begin to demand for sex. Godly is when a man is willing to wait till he pays a price on you. Unfortunately, most men you see around fall into the former category.
Do not get me wrong though, a godly man can also be tempted to have sex too, and he fights daily to overcome it , no one is above temptation, but it is wrong when a man intentionally or deliberately demand for sex after you might have accepted his proposal.
My sister, the issue is not the man asking you for sex but you giving in to him cos you don’t want to lose him is foolishness. (Am sorry, sounds harsh but it’s the hard truth). Here are some lies such men do utter:
‘If u don’t give me your body, how will I be sure that you love me?’. ‘The way am feeling, If I do not have sex with you, I might die’. ‘When you have sex with me, I will feel secure’. ‘I am afraid that if you do not give in to me, I will have no choice than to go for someone else’. ‘The distance between us is so much, let’s have sex so that I can trust you’. ‘Lara is disturbing me for a relationship, if you do not give in now, I will date her and dump you! ‘ How can I buy something without first testing it (are u a commodity?)’. ‘How do I know that you are a virgin if I can’t prove it by having sex with you? ‘ and so on….. SAYS WHO!!! All those nonsense are pure lies and strategies that men use to deceive ladies just to get in between their legs.
If he wants to die, let him die, have you seen someone that died because he couldn’t have sex? If he claims to be insecure, let him be without security, sex is not a security in courtship, infact, you will become the unsecured individual once you yield your body to him. If he wants to go, please let him, your own man will come (as a matter of fact, you should be the one to leave first!)…
Someone might say: “well, I am no more a virgin, so what’s the point? ” My dear sister, the point is that most men prefer a package that is still covered, yet to be unwrapped, not tampered with, someone they are yet to see her nakedness… They will keep longing after her. Do not be deceived, once you have sex with him just because he promised to marry you, he concludes that for you to give in to him, you might be sleeping around with other men. Oh! You say ” that’s not true”. Well, am sorry, that is what it depicts. And that is why a man might court a lady for years (both of them having sex in the relationship) and he decides to quit and go for another lady when he is ready to get married, leaving the former lady in a state of trauma and despair.
If you allow a man to sleep with you because you think if you don’t give in, he will leave you, then I can assure you that when you give in, he will surely leave. So, who will be the loser? Do not let a man see your nakedness for no reason, except after marriage, do not be a loser. Be wise, refuse to fall for his deceit. If he keeps pestering you for sex, then IT IS TIME TO LEAVE! Dump him! You have a bright future ahead of you. Some may want to argue about this truth, do not be deceived, evil communication corrupt good manners…
I care for you.
# please share with your female friends and sisters.
Esteem Ladies’ Foundation
Teniola Moyosore is passionate about God, teenagers, youths and the female gender. Her writings are geared towards correcting some of the ills that befall young ladies in our society. She is the founder of Esteem Ladies Foundation where she addresses pertinent issues on the girl child with the power of her pen. You can read more articles on women and girls on her facebook page: