I Went To ShopRite!!!

About last month, God gifted me some shopping vouchers to use at any outlet of ShopRite😀😀. I decided to go to Apo because of the proximity. So I jumped into the Kia picanto driven by M. M is one of the office drivers. M was kind enough to drop me where I would get a ride to Apo and even paid the driver. He promised to drive down and pick me after. Of course, I didn’t tell him it was shopping I was going for. He didn’t ask either. But he was going to asokoro and couldn’t wait. So I bade him bye.

It was almost four and I was in a mad rush. So I swooped on everything that caught my fancy. I loaded my shopping cart with Milo, milk, cream, biscuit, poundo yam etc. I made a mental note to check for bread and some pastries later. I needed to get the more important things first. Only that I overshopped and never had any money left to cover those.

When my cart got very heavy, I became scared. What if they reject the vouchers? What if? What if? So I went to the counter and showed a cashier. She nodded acceptance.

So I went back with more confidence and now I shopped harder and with a bit of invisible pride on my shoulder. I even caused a stir on the queue when I was paying with the vouchers. Everybody stood still on the queue, watched and waited while cashier removed chocolate, golden morn, cornflakes, toothbrush, charcoal toothpaste, charcoal face wash (I decided to invest in few vanities), cassava fufu, lip balm etc. This had happened to me before. When some people would keep offloading two heavy carts on the counter and I would be there standing with just two or three pieces of items. So I know the feelings.

It was a twenty thousand naira voucher. Unfortunately for ShopRite, they didn’t have farm fresh yoghurt (the major reason why I went to Apo), they didn’t have fruit and fibre, their Coco pops was Nigerian made. These were the major things that gingered my going there.

Unfortunately again, their prices were over the top on some things. Take the Nivea for instance, it’s been sold at 1500max in my neighborhood supermarket but ShopRite sold it for 2500. They didn’t have varieties of body wash to make a decent choice from. There was neither radox nor olay.

I still had to pay 250naira extra because well, I had shopped overboard. While I was being attended to, a rough looking guy came, jumped the queue and tried to outsmart everyone else because he wanted to pay for four chin chin. He came to ShopRite to buy four chin chin. Cashier said he should go back. He refused and stood there.

As I was walking outside,this chin chin guy ran after me and caught up

” hey, please, how did you get those vouchers?”

I looked at him for some seconds. I didn’t know whether to respond or keep walking.

‘i don’t know how I got it. Maybe I stole it’. When I turned back, he had disappeared.

A security man who saw how plenty my ShopRite nylon was getting had taken a peanut and begged that I help him pay. I obliged. He thanked me.

This security guy helped me carry my nylons but I told him not to bother. He was going to get a moving cart. He was going to wheel it to the carpark for me. I insisted that he should not worry. I gat this. I was not going to call M to pick me either. Me that I came with bagco sack from home.😀😀😀😀emi late mi.

I didn’t want anyone from my office to see me with many ShopRite nylon. So instead of going back to the office to join the bus, I went home on my own jeje.

The people in my office or should I say generally that the people of this generation, have labelled every young female. It’s very sad. When they calculate your salary and compare it with the beautiful clothes and shoes you wear or the type of car you drive, and it’s not commensurate, they automatically tag you, cast you and say you have a sugar daddy. Their mind is too full of poverty, so much that I can’t deal. They don’t know that some of us don’t depend on government salary. Infact, January salary wasn’t paid in January.

And if as a single young woman, a nice car drops you at the office too often or even once, you will be shocked later when your news go round the office that different cars drop you every morning and that you are doing runs.

My barrister friends would hear none of it Sha. They stubbornly drive me inside and one of them even comes down to open the side door for me.

It’s the same reason why my neighbour who lives with her second husband was peeping into my space when my brothers came visiting from Lagos. Even though you could look into their faces and see some resemblance. They must sha believe what their devilish minds want to believe. Pray, how can you have kids for different men and yet be bothered about what I do ntori oloun?

So, about the shopping vouchers, it was a sugar friend that gave me and not a sugar husband or daddy.

The last time I had such heavy shopping was when I entered H-Medix with Jonathan Eze. I was in my office jeje when he called me to meet him at this eatery very close to my office. A place where my Lord normally eats. Where a plate of food would cover my living expenses for a week. Mylord must not even enter and find me there. How can I eat where my Lord is eating?😀😀😀😀

Who am I again? How much is my salary? The day my colleague went there to eat and mylord entered, she said she was lucky her back was turned to him and immediately he went to the counter, she ran outI laughed and laughed.

And Jonathan Eze even has the looks of a sugar daddy. He has lost weight now though. I had so many H-Medix nylons that I could not take to the office before the poverty minded people would cast me. So I kept it with the security. The security men till this day call me madam because of that day. They even asked me for small something. I gave them 200naira

The F&F from H-Medix last year

I later saw kelloggs in my neighborhood. I’ve been loyal to that brand since the early 90s when I was at the boarding house and dad once gave me rice Krispies to take to school. I don’t eat rice Krispies to this day but I found my vanity in coco pops and fruit and fibre. They are my weaknesses. If you ever offend me, buy me F&F and I will forgive you. They’ve changed their package now.

The new face of kelloggs. It’s now 2400.

My birthday is next month(parte after parte) and I bought myself a really beautiful 😍 shoe that I cannot wear past my door. It’s about 3-4inches heel. I’m strictly a flats person. I bought myself a lovely red dress too. And unlike previous years, I’m really counting down. I’m craving some really crunchy spring rolls, chocolate ice cream cake and a big bowl of yogurt only. I’m spoiling myself yo!!!! If I don’t take care of me, who will?

It’s finer in real life😀😀

P.S. I’m still broke please😀😀 because I’m working for Abuja landlords.


She has won many awards in writing and poetry amongst which are CLO essay competition (1st Prize Southwest) NDIC essay competition(5th Prize in the southwest) and a World Bank Essay Certificate of Participation She has worked with woman.ng as a content editor and a host of sites as a ghost writer. She has written great inspirational content for fashion brands/blogs. She has been featured on radio and recently added public speaking to her portfolio. You can hire her to write a professional/business profile for you, online content editing, book editing, guest blogging, ghostwriting, content creation or if you need copies of her book, contact her via nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com Facebook.com/Yetunde Olasiyan instagram.com/Yetunde Olasiyan Follow her business page on Instagram @officialladywriter

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