I am not a wonder-woman(Eketi Aime Ette)
I don’t get and will never understand why some people believe that if something’s not done the hard way, then it isn’t good or worth doing. NEWSFLASH:
I AM NOT WONDERWOMAN!
God bless the man or woman who first thought of and invented matchsticks. I cannot imagine hitting two rocks together to make fire and then keep it burning until the next day. God also bless whoever invented gas cookers and kerosene stoves.
When I hear some women speak badly of and look down on other women because they had C-Sections instead of vaginal births, I can only think how stupid they are. How can you tell another woman that she’s less than a woman because she didn’t have a “normal” delivery? Any woman who’s gone through nine months of carrying another human being and successfully birthed that person, should be congratulated! If you think otherwise, you should have your head checked!
God bless whoever discovered and perfected C-Sections. As for those who thinks that a woman who adopted and raised any number of wonderful kids isn’t their mother because she didn’t carry them in her womb…..*sigh*￼ Jesus won’t like me to say or even think what I’m thinking of you.
You carry your hair au naturel; good for you! I relax mine. There’s nothing like “Yaaay! We natural girls rock!” Or “We processed hair girls are the bomb!” Neither’s special. Hair is hair. I don’t need to spend hours combing and grooming my thick, kinky locks to qualify for the Africanness Award. My hair happens to have the texture of an iroko tree firewood; sometimes, it even feels like my mum’s iron sponge used for washing pots. That’s the reason I usually say, God bless whoever invented hair relaxers! You don’t like it or think you’re better than me, well suck a sour udara!
See, I hate doing laundry! Using my hands to scrub clothes clean isn’t my idea of fun. I bless whoever invented washing machines! Washing clothes by hand doesn’t make me any more of a woman than I am, neither does using a washing machine make me less of a woman. So, for those ladies who think that a washing machine is an unnecessary household item to own, in my friend’s words, yimu and yamu to you!
I HATE pounding yam! (I really hope my mum is reading this part ) Long, long, arduous minutes of up and down movements that leave my arms feeling like they’re made of melted butter and my body drenched in perspiration is no joke!
I don’t care if your grandmother fed the entire nation from the yam she pounded all by herself in her sacred, home-cooking mortar; if you won’t eat Poundo or pound the yam yourself, please press ALT+CTRL+COMOT key. Better still, visit the buka or restaurant nearest to you.
I can multitask, yes. But I REFUSE to overstretch myself like I’m Mister Fantastic Reed Richards in the Fantastic Four.
In this day and time, where both parents earn a living in most families, expecting a woman to always balance a career and a home without some form of help is rubbish! You that keeps frowning at a woman because she has a housemaid, what’s your problem? Shebi that Virtuos Woman in the book of Proverbs 31 whom you often quote and hold up as the ultimate role model had maids, abi? And stop comparing me to those stars!
Angelina Jolie is not Superwoman! She has professional nannies, cooks, laundrymen, live-in makeup artiste, etc. Her PA has a PA for Pete’s sake! So think twice when next you want to tell me how well she balances her career and family!
Finally, I am not yet the woman in Proverbs 31. I mean, I can bring my food from afar (it’s called ordering take out or take away); I can plant a vineyard (although on my mum’s farm, all I planted was yam, cassava, cocoyam, water-yam, pepper, waterleaf, scentleaf, melons, okro, pumpkin, etc).
I still don’t know how to spin thread from cotton with a spindle and staff, neither do I know how to make fine linen and sell it. If you still think I’m incomplete because of it….well, I’m wondering what you’d look like with a boil on your left eye.
Eketi Aime Ette(2015)