HER FIRST LOVE
A girl in love for the first time is an all-time fool. Here’s how. When a girl falls in love, she falls totally and irredeemably. She will do anything for the boy. She believes everything the boy says even when he means nothing or did not think before opening his mouth. She goes about with dreamy eyes. Even when she looks like she is busy studying, she is actually writing a love note or doodling on the back of her biology notebook. If you have doubts, ask why male corpers leave behind many seeds of their indiscretion after the one year national service.
The corper teacher burrows in forbidden holes, rummages in between the legs of innocent teenagers and leaves the ‘fruits of his labour unclaimed behind.’ Yet the following year, another set of rampaging rascals arrive in their green khaki and white NYSC shirts and the girls still fall for the time worn lies. Is it something about first love? No, it’s something about lying being in men’s DNA and foolishness in women’s genes. The difference is women get over the foolishness but men nurture their lies and groom it into an act. But the lying ways of men is not my primary assignment today. It is the number of teenagers being fooled and told Mills and Boon stories this vey minute that is my point here.
Somewhere, even as i write this, a teenager is being convinced to forget everything her mother taught her by a swindling bloke. She is being told that condoms are for men who can’t control themselves and how he will withdraw before he drops his load. Trouble is, he will drop that load. She will get pregnant and he will deny responsibility. He will then proceed to rub salt into her wounds by asking ‘how many times did we do it or am i the only one you are sleeping with? The most saddening part is that some girls went through this last year, some are falling for the same emotional 419 right now and more will still fall next year. It’s a lying-dude-foolish-girl-musical choir.
Before we proceed, let us say a little prayer to God to forgive all men who left behind unclaimed fruits of their labour during the NYSC year. May the almighty have mercy on their rascally souls, amen. Let’s move on.
When her mother sends her on errand, she makes time to see her love and returns home late with ‘a bowl of lies’ to cover her tracks. She stops over on her way to the library, market, school and even church programme to see him. Don’t be shocked at the church part, just keep an eye on your daughter and that choir practice routine. She may have fallen in love with one boy in church. Did you say she’s just fervent for God? Ah, good luck with that. I remember a friend who did one of the most foolish things a girl in love for the first time could do.
Moji was seventeen when she fell in love with gbade. He was 21, born in Britain but his parents brought him to Nigeria when he was 11. However, he wanted to return to Britain by all means but his parents were already doing well here. He made some complicated plans in which he convinced Moji to help with funds for his ticket. He promised Moji he would do everything to take her over to join him. Moji believed every lying line and was convinced she was investing in their future. She then invested her mother’s jewellery box and all the fullness therein. Yeah, the old woman almost had a heart attack. Her father almost disowned her.
Gbade travelled and for a while, the lovebirds exchanged love letters until the purple prose from Gbade, the Londoner dwindled to a halt. And moji’s world shattered into smithereens. She couldn’t believe Gbade could dump her. She first thought it was post office problem, then she decided he was ill, but Gbade’s sisters were in touch with their brother. The lover boy had simply moved on, found more voluptuous bosom to rest his head. The shame was unspeakable and the pain horrendous. Moji went to hell and back. She flunked two of her courses in the first year of university but that was the wake up call that brought her back to earth.
She gradually recovered but love for her never had any meaning after Gbade. A man’s promise became a huge joke. She became mean to men and for a long time, i saw her punish many men for Gbade’s sins. Moji finally recovered but her journey between marriage and Gbade is a full book. She is happily married now. My point? Most girls don’t start out with cheating, two timing in mind. They wear rose tinted glasses and love with all their heart. They believe what the boys tell them until they are forced to put their hearts in the freezer and begin to love with their heads. That’s when love becomes a dangerous game and men find out that girls learn quickly and are better equipped to win more medals at the love Olympics.
Funke Egbemode [ Editor, Sunday Sun]