I am so tired.
I am just tired.
I am so stressed. Whew!!
I was dreading resumption but I actually rested so well and I thought I’d be fine.
Work has resumed just in one week and I’m already tired. What about the 352 remaining days of the year?
Monday- I was at work, heading the court, holding forth for my colleague but we had no sitting till the next day. However, I still had so much to do in preparation for next day’s sitting.
Most of the reactions I got as regards my look were surprisingly pleasant. Especially from the men. Even the females, they were very generous and sensible with their comments.
I saw Milord. He relaxed back in his chair when I entered his office and smiled brightly.
“Yetunde how are you? How was the Xmas and new year celebration?”
Court was in session. I had to head the court….as usual. I was having serious stomach pains. I took Panadol in dosages which calmed me a bit.
We didn’t rise till almost 4pm…since morning fa.
I discovered that iya onibooli had also resumed.
No sitting but I had spillover work from Tuesday sitting. Lots of files to work on. I didn’t even know when time passed. I was practically alone in court. My other colleagues had errands. One had to close early as a nursing mother.
I was suffering from sleep deprivation. I decided to sleep in. So I called a learned friend to pick me before 8am. I figured I’d be in court before 8.30 at least. However, we were still navigating Secretariat traffic by then. Head of litigation’s call came in. I died. Literally. Then I picked. He said the learned brothers couldn’t enter the courtroom. Where was I? Toor. I apologized.
By the time I was dropped at the gate, I didn’t bother about signing in as I ran past everyone straight inside the courtroom.
Then I went to see Milord.
We rose late as usual. I didn’t have anything to eat. I was tired and fagged out.
Loads of work. Milord was giving me some work to do. Judgements and rulings. Then he went to the mosque and I was supposed to get other rulings from him.
My colleagues left. I was left alone. He didn’t come back.
My other Lord was around and they were in a meeting.
Las Las I sent a message to Milord by 4pm that I was leaving.
I left to join the bus.
I hurriedly left for suleja in Niger state. The rest of the morning was spent touring the market side. Today was my first time at the popular market. I was tired and hungry. It was almost 4pm before I got back. What I initially thought to be a quick outing turned out to be me spending almost the entire day there.
I rushed to cook a meal. Rushed out to barb my hair. Hair was growing out so fast. Had to trim it. Got some texturizers to make it sassy and curly.
Couldn’t even have a bath after the cut. Laid sprawled out on the bed typing this. I need a lot of sleep but sleep just eluded me now. Thinking of dead people instead. An habitual ritual before almost every bedtime.
I called church. Please send someone to do my work tomorrow.
Ain’t stepping out tomorrow.
I need sometime to get my acts together.
PS. I am currently reading Tomi Adeyemi’s “Children of Blood and Bone”- my fourth read this year.
I read Too Makinwa’s “On Becoming” and I got angry at the tail end. I wondered why a woman would allow herself to be subjected to such ridicule and shame in the name of keeping a man.
I got angry that she took him back many times over when she could have walked away honourably.
In fact, I am still angry. No one should go through such in the hands of a man.
Smart Money Woman by Arese Ugwu made all the sense into he world. I’m glad that the book is being adaped I to a TV series now.
Buchi Emecheta’s “The Bride Price” was a great read but not as compelling as the other titles of hers. I enjoyed the book and it showed the elements of patriarchy and why women would be continually seen as a doormat. They are bought into matrimony. Culture and tradition doesn’t leave many women with any chance at living their dreams or even marrying their choice.