From Texas with Love;story of five galas

So I started googling every part of my brain for blogging ideas all through the previous day until my BFF called me from Lagos. Then, it all came back to me, memories….. The story of five galas from texas,yipeeee! I promised myself I was going to write this story immediately I resumed blogging but I forgot. How could I?
My BFF had told me about her friend whom she had never seen except for his pictures which she showed me. Oh my, we were practically drooling(don’t mind me) over this guy. Fine face, no pimples, nice physique, nice outfit and all. This dude lives in texas or so he claims(I laugh wickedly).
He informed my BFF he was in naij after a long time he had left this soil and he looked forward to visiting her. Were we glad? We lived in a nice, mini flat with all convieniences in the heart of the city.
So, on this bright beautiful saturday afternoon, the dude whom we nicknamed ‘texas’, called to inform us that he was on his way. Ehn, fine boy, Kiakia, we began to arrange the house, place everything in their rightful position(we were expecting an august visitor from texas,lol). She was even telling me to take things easy,I said no ooo, we must arrange this house wella o.
As he neared our gate(well,texas came on a bike) she went out to meet and bring him in. Lo and behold(right now,am almost rolling on the floor in laughter) the much awaited dude from texas jumped down from the bike and on a closer look,my friend wanted to quickly rush back inside and lock the gate. Texas had bumps on his jaw and neck, he wore a shirt and trouser with clothe material peculiar to deeper life brothers( cut and sew material).
I peeped through the window and saw her walking inside with her “prize”, lol (she said she almost ran away). I was aghast, I could not close my mouth. This guy looked like ‘someborri’ who came from ojuelegba/oshodi/mushin olosha and its environs. Don’t ever believe everything you see in pictures. Pictures now lie. We actually saw pictures of this guy abroad but…
I hung my head in disappointment,I thought of the hard labour we had subjected ourselves over texas’ visit.
He came in and greeted me. Well, he didn’t have even the dysfunctional ‘hybrid’ accent of our locals here not to talk of a polished accent. His words only ended in “mehnnn, mehnn”.
In my irritation,I entered the bedroom. Then, I heard this guy(not a dude anymore) say he forgot his change with the bus conductor,lamenting seriously. She asked how much,pitying him greatly and the guy said 30naira(what???). I was so embarassed.
When my friend could no longer stand him, she asked me to come out and watch Teju Babyface Show. This guy just kept on talking nonsense, irritating me more about how a white woman favored him and he got a free accomodation bla bla bla. All the while, I planted my gaze on the tv, I couldn’t bear to look at those bumps.
After watching the show, he said he wanted to leave, he had a big bag on his shoulders(I already dreamt plenty chocolates would be in that bag). Well, he dipped his hand into that bag and first brought out 1gala(my friend opened her mouth in bewilderment),and as if hesitating whether or not to give out all the galas,he brought out 2 more, then, 1 plus another 1. The drama all occurred in my presence. 5 galas?? All the way from texas?? U’v got to be kidding me. We thought it was a joke o. But it was 5 galas in all. So we should chop five galas and choke to death? We saw him off after that. We got home and laughed so hard. Wonders!!! We never heard from him again. And in case he is reading this, thanks so much for the honorary visit and the galas. Better luck next time.

Happy weekend to you all. Hope you had a wonderful sallah, hope you didn’t buy a ‘london use’ ram, lol.

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She has won many awards in writing and poetry amongst which are CLO essay competition (1st Prize Southwest) NDIC essay competition(5th Prize in the southwest) and a World Bank Essay Certificate of Participation She has worked with as a content editor and a host of sites as a ghost writer. She has written great inspirational content for fashion brands/blogs. She has been featured on radio and recently added public speaking to her portfolio. You can hire her to write a professional/business profile for you, online content editing, book editing, guest blogging, ghostwriting, content creation or if you need copies of her book, contact her via Olasiyan Olasiyan Follow her business page on Instagram @officialladywriter


April 9, 2014 at 7:44 pm

Laugh wan kill me die.

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