Sometimes back, I heard a lady talking with her friend about someone. She said: ‘shebi she has finished her Youth service, why is she not married yet? What is she waiting for?!
Well, I wasn’t surprised when I heard it, that is the mentality of the society we belong to. When a lady finishes her first degree, she should plan her wedding right away as if husbands are ready made applications that people go to Google play store to download or groceries that can be bought at Shop rite!
We should stop seeing marriage as one of those things such as enrollment at school, matriculation, graduation, e.t.c. if we regard it as something more sacred than career or academics, we would think twice before saying “Yes I do!”
Ladies, marriage is different from all the above listed achievement. It is a step that should be taken not with desperation but sanity and carefulness. Desperation is a No no! Many ladies today are stuck in the wrong marriage because they were desperate. Now, I am not saying you should allow yourself to grow old before getting married, early marriage is good but that is if it is with the right spouse okay?
‘Oh! All my friends are married, I must too’ or ‘my parents are pressurising me, let me just settle with someone.’ Hey! You better think twice, they won’t stay with you in that marriage, you will be the one to live with the man! Take your time to make the right choice.
The other day (when I was still single), I walked out of a relationship that I knew would never work, (being the kind of person I am, my purpose and the vision I run with), the man may not fit in, alignment of purpose is very important… And someone said, “manage him like that, Oko won lode o” (that is husbands are scarce).
Jesus! Manage ke? We are talking of a life time commitment here for Christ sake, someone said manage! If husbands are scarce, does that mean one should end up with the wrong one? I can’t, I won’t!
It is when a lady is visionless and purposeless that she will settle for anybody and anything. Anything goes…
Like a saying that goes thus: ‘ when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.’ Another says ‘If you don’t know where you are going, everywhere will look like your bus stop.’
So my dear single sister, if you don’t know your purpose, you may end up tangled with someone who is not on the same page with you.
What is your vision? Have you discovered your purpose yet? Who are you and where are you going?
It is only when you can answer these questions that you can think about marriage. It is when you know who you are and where you are going that you can determine who is fit to go with you (your husband).
Don’t forget, marriage is not like the school you attended or the course you read. You can change those ones but the choice of your life partner after being made is not what you can change without having ‘wounds and scars.’
Don’t be desperate, don’t ever allow pressure to overwhelm you. Pray well and let God guide you.
May you have the marriage of your dreams. Amen🙏
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