Dangerous Sacrifices….How far should a woman go?
Everywhere you turn, you would surely see women doing things to save their marriages and to keep their men to themselves. Some of the things you have seen or heard may be for good, but at other times, they may smack of utter desperation on the part of the women. So, just where is the limit of a woman’s sacrifice? How far should a woman go in trying to save her marriage?
Ego and her husband, Nonso, have been married for close to eight years when she discovered that her husband had near zero sperm count. It was especially painful because for those years, her husband and his family had made her bear the blame for their childlessness. At the close of their tenth wedding anniversary, close family members gathered at their home and pleaded with Ego to take the shame off her husband’s face, by choosing among Nonso’s three younger siblings who would make her pregnant; an offer she bluntly refused. After crying her eyes out for more than three weeks, Ego decided to toe the line drawn by her in-laws. So,she chose Francis, the youngest of the brothers. Her husband was profoundly excited when she got pregnant and so was she, but deep down, the fear of the unknown lurked in her heart. Months after the child was born, the boy looked every inch like his supposed uncle. And everytime people came to their home, they would innocently remark about how the boy took after his uncle….
Michael and Sonia have been together since their third year in the university. Those who knew them closely believed that they would make a wonderful marriage together. While Sonia didn’t waste time in landing a good job, Michael was still jobless three years after they left school.
In the parastatal where she worked, a particular director was paying her extra attention. So, she decided to take advantage of the situation to help the love of her life. Armed with that, she talked Michael into registering a contracting company. Armed with that, she approached the director for help to get a contract for office supplies. To the pot-bellied director, Michael was Sonia’s Uncle who had been out of job for years. After Sonia’s first night out with her benefactor, michael received the call he had been waiting for all his life! And he was so grateful to Sonia. Michael was soon in good money. Yet there was no mention of the wedding date. Michael instead lectured Sonia on how the patient dog always ate the fattest bone, each time she brought up the topic. You can only imagine how devastated she felt when the news filtered in that Michael was getting married to another lady in a nearby town. She could not tell anyone why she especially felt hurt by Michael’s betrayal.
In another part of the world, a woman had to take along her pen and a legal notepad everywhere she went to prove her fidelity. At a salon, another woman noticed her fidgeting in her seat while a nail technician worked on her. At a point, she scribbled on a piece of paper- the date and time. Then she asked the nail technician to take a picture of her holding the paper.
‘I had an affair’. She explained to the women watching the drama. ‘It only lasted a few months but then I felt so horrible about it I told my husband. He was devastated. It was the worst time in our lives. I didn’t want a divorce. I love my husband. My husband decided to forgive me, but it came with a price. Since he obviously can’t trust me (and I don’t blame him), I have to check in with him. When I go somewhere,I document that am really at that place by sending him pictures with the date and time. I’m hoping to build up the trust again over time.
The onlookers were stunned. “Yes. And I will do it for as long as it takes to save my marriage and get my husband back”. And then she turned away, laid her head back and closed her eyes. The conversation was ended.
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