Booli and Epa Chronicles

 

Do you wonder why I always say Milord is the kindest judge I’ve ever met?

 

Okay..

 

I discovered to my chagrin that Milord has been seeing every of our actions under the table each time we put booli, epa, biscuit or sweet in our mouth or we bend our neck under the table to stuff some bread before coming up for breath. Sometimes, me and my right hand colleague will be whispering in low tones and Milord has been seeing everything.

 

How did I know?

 

Two instances

 

One day, a colleague entered his Chambers while I was there and said

 

“Milord, please, I want to go home. I’m going to church”

 

What Milord said next stopped me in my tracks

“You?? You that come to work very late, you still want to leave early(meanwhile it was 4.45pm but we were all working late on that day because of a trending matter that was heating up the polity)

 

I was shocked.

 

Now, this lady comes to work sometimes when Milord is already sitting(which is late anyways). She would come in quietly and look for a place to sit. I sight her everytime because of course, I sit directly in front of Milord in the courtroom.

 

But Milord I assumed, would be reading his ruling or writing in his file not knowing he has been seeing her.

 

Another day, a learned counsel had wanted a certain date for adjournment and he suggested it. I was just shaking my head unconsciously to indicate that it wasn’t convenient for the court. And I was waiting for milord to call me before responding.

 

Alas, I was shocked when he told counsel that “my registrar says it’s not convenient”. Without us talking fa. So he was even reading my body language (my back was turned to him). My colleague exchanged glances with me. Both of us were shocked.

 

So if Milord can see my body expressions from up, see those who come late, it means he also sees me(that sit directly in front of him on a lower platform)when I hide under the table to eat booli😁

 

The other day, I had just put a fresh booli in my mouth when he said “Yetunde give me date”

 

Omo mehn, fear catch me. I caught my colleague laughing at me.

I stood up hesitantly and answered through gritted teeth. I was so ashamed of myself😀. I dared not open my mouth too much lest the epa fly out.

 

We eat under the desk because our sittings are usually long. You can’t eat in the morning because counsels are already waiting for you in the courtroom. We hardly go on recess as well. So wetin man pikin go do? Starve from morning till 4pm? Na die be that.

 

I like Milord, alot.

Author

nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com
She has won many awards in writing and poetry amongst which are CLO essay competition (1st Prize Southwest) NDIC essay competition(5th Prize in the southwest) and a World Bank Essay Certificate of Participation She has worked with woman.ng as a content editor and a host of sites as a ghost writer. She has written great inspirational content for fashion brands/blogs. She has been featured on radio and recently added public speaking to her portfolio. You can hire her to write a professional/business profile for you, online content editing, book editing, guest blogging, ghostwriting, content creation or if you need copies of her book, contact her via nikeolasiyan@yahoo.com Facebook.com/Yetunde Olasiyan instagram.com/Yetunde Olasiyan Follow her business page on Instagram @officialladywriter

Comments

January 25, 2019 at 9:23 am

Hahahaha…I had a good laugh.

Should we say Millord has extra eyes?



January 26, 2019 at 9:20 am

HeHeHeHeHeHeHeHeHeHeHe!!!
You got me in stitches with ”lest the epa fly out”
I like Milord too sha
Nice read…



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